Fear

Last time, I mentioned that the only thing I have found that keeps me from saying “Yes” in my actions is fear. I mean, if you say “Yes” in your thoughts, no one can judge you because presumably, you’re the only one inside your head.

But saying “Yes” in action is a whole ‘nother thing.

When you say “Yes” in action, all of the sudden people can see you. They can judge you, they can say harsh or critical things about you, they can even do things which hurt you.

No wonder we often stop saying “Yes” when it comes time for the rubber to meet the road. Who wants any of that heavy stuff!

The reality is that despite the sting of hurt feelings and disappointment, we aren’t able to be permanently damaged. Inside of us lives a core spirit which is absolutely unharmable. It does not judge, it is not vindicative, it is not jealous, it is not angry. It is not susceptible to hate or prejudice. It cannot be intimidated and it cannot be scarred. It is peaceful and accepting of Whatever Is.

You cannot hurt it anymore than you can hurt the wind. It cannot be damaged physically, emotionally, spiritually, or otherwise.

It is inviolable.

I do agree that knowing all that doesn’t stop our emotions from getting bruised from time to time, and our egos flattened on occasion, but it does tend to instill a sense of empowerment. When you come to a deep understanding of that true inner nature that all of us possess, wouldn’t it make fear seem a bit less daunting?

This is all assuming that people would judge us and say and do things that hurt us in the first place. My experience is that most of the time my fears are either unfounded completely, or largely overblown. I’m more often surprised by the amount of support when I’m able to say “Yes” in my actions, despite the fear of criticism or rejection.

In the book, “The Tools” by Stutz and Michels, they have a little diagram showing fear as a cloud, with you on one side of the cloud, and your expanded comfort zone, your manifested hopes and dreams, your concrete goals, etc., on the other side.

Their use of a cloud seem apropos.

We can’t see through the other side very easily, we can’t grab the fear itself, it’s more of a pervasive feeling rather than a solid object we can point to. And yet it hides the good stuff from us; our greater potential.

We have to go through the fear – saying “Yes” in action despite the fear – to get where we really want to be.

See if you can’t use these ideas to act in the face of fear. Let me know in the comments or by private contact form if this has helped you.

(photo credit: D Sharon Pruitt)

1 Comment

  1. Beth

    April 24, 2014

    Post a Reply

    Your explanation of the fear as a cloud metaphor is very helpful to me. “We can’t see through the other side very easily, we can’t grab the fear itself, it’s more of a pervasive feeling rather than a solid object we can point to. And yet it hides the good stuff from us; our greater potential.” It’s so easy to forget that fear doesn’t really have any teeth or substance to it. Fear can be managed but not eliminated or dominated. Thanks for the new new point of view on this.

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