When people come to me seeking change, one thing that they don’t always count on is that they must also change their thinking.
Changes begin in the mind as a different thought, and end up out in the world as a different behavior.
What needs changing and how, is part of the discovery process in our hypnotherapy sessions, but the simple act of challenging a thought can be surprising to the client.
Take one recent client, a wife and mother of 3, also employed outside the home.
She had been feeling overloaded with responsibilities for a while, but things were now different. Overwhelm had reared its ugly head.
When she reached overwhelm, things really starting falling through the cracks: she was missing appointments, forgetting to pay some bills, burning meals due to distraction, and the general cleanliness and upkeep of the home was suffering.
But that wasn’t the worst part.
Her moods began suffering as well, and as her moods became lower, she began feeling bad about herself – she felt ineffective, slow, and disorganized.
She reasoned that she must be unmotivated or lazy.
As she felt worse about herself, her relationships with the other members of her family were being strained. Tempers were flaring more quickly.
When we dug into why she was feeling the way she was feeling, we found that much of the overload started when she began taking on additional housework responsibilities.
Simply put, she was pushing too hard, doing too much, and something had to give or the system was going to start breaking down. No flexibility emerged and so things indeed started a downward spiral.
It was her automatic acceptance of the additional housework responsibilities that had caused the imbalance, the overload, the overwhelm.
She had automatically accepted them because she felt like that’s what a good wife, a good mother did. She didn’t take into consideration that she had a personal right to be happier and more relaxed as well.
Besides, if being a good wife and mother was of paramount importance, wasn’t a happier, more relaxed, and more comfortable wife and mother better for everyone?
Ever heard the line, “When Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?”
It wasn’t until we starting considering options that might create space in the overwhelm for her, that a sense of relief started emerging.
We talked about re-distribution of chores among the family members, paying for some outside help when there were too many obligations in a given two week period, finding ways to speed and simplify meal prep, and more.
Once she realized that she had choices, options, and possibilities, things started changing for the positive.
While the family remained busy and active, there was a new-found sense of ease. Her moods improved quickly, and her family life regained its harmony. She no longer felt lazy or ineffective, in fact, she felt lighter and empowered.
Challenging a single, solitary thought started the cascade of positive changes.
Both for her and for her family.
If you had a thought that needed challenging, what would it be? Be open to the possibilities.